Death Among Us
by Abisian
Summary: Milly's POV; One-shot; Deeper thoughts of Milly's; Bigger spoilers here, beware


Meryl sat in the rocking chair on the porch, a glass of cold ice water on the table beside her. It was scorching hot outside, as usual, but she always sat out there . . . I think she might have been waiting for Vash, or wishing that she was waiting for Vash . . . But I don't think he'll ever come back.

I'm not usually pessimistic, but I really didn't think Vash would come back. I wanted him to because of Sempai, but it was just highly unlikely that he would. This disappointed the both of us. I often found Meryl crying on the porch or heard her crying in her room. Even at work she would be crying while typing up a report. I got angry at Vash and wanted to scream because he made poor Meryl cry.

Not that it was his fault.

He had to go and fight Knives or else Knives might have destroyed December . . . Or all of Gunsmoke, for that matter. But still . . . He made Meryl cry!

Meryl stood from her chair and prepared to walk across the street to the donut shop. I wanted to stop her. She was either going to stuff herself with donuts and pretend they were anti-depressants or go in the shop and start crying because donuts reminded her of Vash. Actually, I wouldn't mind a donut right about now.

But I had work to do. Despite the fact that it was Sempai's day off, it wasn't mine, and so I still had some work I had to finish up about the well and how it could be linked to the Humanoid Typhoon, not that it could . . . It was just some on-the-side task that the boss at the office told me to look in to. 

I was surprised after about ten minutes when Meryl returned with a box of twelve donuts. 

"Milly," she said. "You look like you could use a break, so I went and got some donuts for us." She smiled and set them on the table. I stood from my little spot around the papers and books and typewriter and went to the table and sat across from her.

I opened the box and peered inside. She got an assortment, which was good. I wouldn't have been able to bear it if she got Vash's favorite . . . She would have cried, then I would have cried, and we both would have been crying. I took one out and shoved it in my mouth. I was famished! To me (and probably to Vash) a donut was the breakfast of champions! Or, well, lunch. 

"Milly . . ." I looked up at her then back down at the box of donuts, taking one and biting into it.

"Hm?"

"You don't think he'll come back . . . do you . . .?" It didn't really sound like a question. My head shot back up, and I sure felt like I could cry right then by just hearing her tone of voice. 

"Oh, Sempai-"

"Milly! Answer!"

"Well . . . It could happen. Personally I don't think he will." I put the donut in my mouth and thought about it.

"I kind of wish he would, kind of wish he won't," she said. "Like . . . if he came back, would I be angry with him for leaving? If he wouldn't, would I be sad for not coming back?" I think I cried before she did. I just burst into tears while she was still trying to fight hers back. I bounded from my chair, the donut still between my teeth, and brought her into a tight hug. For some reason *his* face kept floating through my mind, his charming smile, sunglasses, holding that giant cross over his shoulder. That was one reason I was crying. I was also crying because my poor Meryl was gonna cry.

"Oh, Meryl, don't cry!" I said through my own sobs. I could feel her shoulders shaking before I said this, so I decided to say it to keep her from crying; it would have made me cry even more. 

I eased open my eyes to look out the window. I wished Vash would come walking down the road right then in front of our place just so Meryl would stop crying, so my sempai would be happy again.

She pulled away and I let her go. 

"Milly, I'm sorry, I haven't asked you how you felt."

I knew what she meant by that. She was talking about the cross-toting man named Wolfwood. I didn't want to make her feel worse about herself so I said basically the second thing that came to my mind.

"Oh, I'm just fine." Lie. Flat-out lie. It wasn't like me to lie like that, although sometimes I did have to lie about things to keep everyone happy, even if they knew I was lying they were courteous enough to pretend to be happy. That's all that really mattered to me. 

I finished the rest of my donut, which I had taken from my mouth when I told Meryl how I was doing after everything, and went back to my little spot on typing small details on the typewriter, typing things that I found in my research, which just happened to be all those papers that surrounded me. 

Thoughts of Wolfwood kept coming back to my mind, so I had to mutter stuff to myself occasionally as I typed it up. When he shot that little boy . . . "First Human Disaster . . ." When he and Vash jumped off the bus to get the child that was left behind . . . "Not finding the well until he left . . ." When he and Vash protected us from the cross fire . . . "Therefore having nothing to do with Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon . . ."

Then, as my report was finished, the ultimate memories that I had of Wolfwood: One that I wanted to keep, one that I wanted to forget. I felt a weak smile creep across my face as I remembered. He felt angry with himself and sad for other reasons, both at the same time. I had approached him and hugged him and assured him that it was all okay . . . And he cried. He cried into my shoulder as I tried to comfort him. It was then that I received my first kiss. I fell asleep in his room after that, and when I woke up he told me to stay there . . .

He told me to stay there while he . . . While he . . .

It pained me to remember it, but now that I had it wouldn't go away, painted just as vividly in my mind as the moment it happened. And then finding him in the chapel I just . . . broke down and cried, right there, at the sight of him. He was on one knee and clutching his cross. I remembered screaming. That was one of the very rare times that I ever screamed like that . . . I didn't even remember ever screaming like that, but now I had a reason.

I realized that I was screaming as I sat in front of my typewriter. Meryl came rushing into the room. I had begun to bang on the typewriter at my frustration, and then clutched the sides of my head and continued to scream. Meryl put comforting arms around me as I sat there and just let me cry and scream. 

Honestly, she should have stopped me, because after a few minutes I had developed a headache. But Meryl was there, telling me it was all right, even though she didn't know why I was screaming and I wasn't really listening to her. 

Why was there so much death among us? If it weren't for Knives and Legato and the Gung-Ho Guns, Vash wouldn't have left and Meryl would still be happy. If it weren't for them, Wolfwood wouldn't have been killed and I'd be happy with him, probably living with him in his home town, at that orphanage, if he was the kind of person who wanted me. If it weren't for them . . . Half the population of Gunsmoke would still be here.

There's just so much death among us . . .

Author's Notes: Another fic at Milly's POV, but these are somewhat deeper thoughts of Vash and Wolfwood than my other fic. Also deeper, inner actions that she would probably never actually do. She's just stuck in an emotional spot.

Anyways, R/R, tell me what you think! Should it be a one-shot, or should I continue into a fiction, or what? Tell me! Review, email, something!!

There was also a reason I said 'or wishing she was waiting for Vash' because she doesn't know if she's actually waiting for Vash, because she doesn't know if there's a Vash she should be waiting for ^_^ No one knows for sure from watching episode "Paradise" in the anime what went on between Milly and Wolfwood, so I don't know if they kissed or not . . . Or something else. I'm just saying he kissed her because . . . Well, I'm a firm believer in M/W pairing, so . . . yeah.


End file.
